I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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