Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
