forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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