paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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