so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
