I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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