youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
