doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
