At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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