Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize