I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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