you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
