remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
