puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
