Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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