im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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