getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
