break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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