I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
