I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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