they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
