his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
And then he peed in my hair
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