i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize