Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
