problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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