i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
that is very illegal...i love you.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
