So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
