Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
