he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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