is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
