We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
