was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
