I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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