Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
