I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
