You're completely useless in the revolution.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have feelings that need drinking.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
