I could have mohawked her pubes.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
