I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
