Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
