Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
