all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
