rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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