Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just puked most of my soul out..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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