I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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