y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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