"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
