marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
