Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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