Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
