You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
