Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
