...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
