i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
