What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
