Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
