Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
