she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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