i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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