I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
